As with most things, there are two extremes and usually somewhere in the middle is the best balance. For me, I know that when I wear a top or pants that fits well or an outfit that is very stylish… or even better, a new outfit… I feel prettier about myself. It goes beyond the clothes. It’s like when you put a little bit of blush on, it just makes you feel prettier and more alive. Hey, my thoughts are this: if you can feel better about yourself without causing harm to others, then why not?

But when buying things and how you look become your only asset you rely on, that when it’s good to hold a mirror up to yourself. And I don’t mean to look at that blemish on your face. I mean to really look at yourself and see if the outer beauty is overriding the inner beauty. Man, that’s deep. But we all need our checks and balances. Thankfully we’re no longer living in a 70s society where women are only revered if they only have beauty over brains (and personality).

…Celebrities live in a dangerous situation where they can get out of reality real quick.

In our society, models on magazine covers and celebrities are what we want to look like and live like…and livin’ la vita loca (the crazy life) …most of which has very little substance. Don’t get me wrong, when I see a beautiful woman on a magazine my eye naturally gravitates towards that magazine because she’s meant to attract both men and women. Why do you think most women targeted magazines like Redbook and Glamour have a beautiful woman on the cover and not an attractive man?

We just see what we like and we take that to what we want to look like and what we want our lives to be like. We don’t see the ugly day to day things these “models” have to deal with, like papparazi constantly in their faces. We only see snapshots of their fa-bu-lous life…we don’t see the problems and pressures they have in their lives. And some like Kirstie Alley fight to keep their weight down because if not they know they’ll be judged by the millions of people who see their picture on a magazine.

So what’s the answer? Well, only you can really answer that. But here’s a thought: what about tryin’ to live la dolce vita (the good life)…where you can be stylin’, have a chic life and still be the girl next door?

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But normally, I like to really mix and match textures and add colors and accessories. As you get older (and wiser ), you get more bold, and don’t really worry or care too much about what other people think or what ‘clique’ you belong to and those mind consuming activities in your teens and 20’s. That’s how we grow…oh boy, I sound like I’m 80 years old! Anyway, I’m NOT 80…and I hardly ever wear skirts any more. They’re just not very functional and I just the like the look of a tailored boot cut pant (it always so strange saying pant like you’re referring to one leg or half the pants). I like capris too (the modern day highwaters…remember those?). Short pants officiate spring for me. OH, by the way, Happy First Day of Spring! I already got a head start with putting away my heavy sweaters. There were only two of them …but hey, you know it is the warm south here.

Rummaging through my closet, I don’t really have a clothing brand that I die for. I’m very eclectic. I like to find unique pieces at boutiques, local Raleigh shows like Junior League Shopping Spree, …and I love to hear about and find sales! I mean what better than getting what you want for half price!

I wear casual stuff a lot. Back in my hotel management days, we had to wear skirts and pantyhose EVERY DAY. …And no open toed shoes or large non-classic jewelry. I mean C’MON! Can you imagine??? I mean what kinda archaic dress code is that? Spanx are the new pantyhose as far as I’m concerned!  Then, things were a ‘lil better in the software and technology working world except clothing was so bo-rrring…I mean pretty much khaki pants and blue shirts every day (that was for women too)…or matchy matchy cardigans.  That wasn’t dress down, that was dress like a clone. 

So those “professional” days for me are a thing of the past. I still have a closet full of suits and jackets. It’s hard for me to part with some of those ‘cause they’re all ‘one of a kinds’. But I’m gonna do it this year and get all that stuff outta my closet, outta my life. What about you???

More frequently I’m seeing people wearing more casual or business casual in their jobs…I love it! Companies are gettin’ it! I just don’t believe people should be judged on how much they charge on a credit card for a suit. But I’m not about sloppy dressing either. Like the just-got-out-of-bed-look. That just shows laziness.

I wear a lotta colorful and vintage tops, jeans, and comfy pants. Lovely! And…I love my hoodies, yoga pants and my Juicy Couture hot pink activewear! Oh, and my really unique small tees that have something cool written on it. I’m not a brand advertiser but if I go somewhere and see a tee that’ll remind me of a place and experiences, I’ll get it. Like when we went to the Hard Rock Park @ Myrtle Beach on opening weekend – I just had to get a rock band tee. Not the one size fits all T-shirts…nope I’ve had tons of those and they all get donated or become pajama wear.

I’m a scarf and Kate Spade handbag girl… not trying to name drop or anything but I’m just sayin’! Love purses too – but they’re usually too small for my bowling ball…j/k…wanted to see if you were paying attention!  My fav’rite scarf now is my classic pink plaid Burberry scarf but I also love my $5 colorful Old Navy scarves!

Have you watched “What Not to Wear”? I think it’s a fun but TOO sad to watch. Victims on there are just so CLUE-LESS about fashion. I guess that’s why their family and friends nominate them to be on there. …and they’re usually ecstatic about it. Not like I’m some fashionista or take the time to dress up like a runway model every day, but my wardrobe isn’t filled with baggy male shorts either. Sad, but I actually know people who are strickened with this lack of fashion-curse. They’re great people but I think they just never got into fashion and it’s work to them to put together an outfit. I dunno maybe you can shed some light here…

…But really, all they gotta do is ask for a ‘lil help! Oh and boy do they get it on that show where they have to ditch all of their clothes overnight, literally. No, slow and calming purging process like little by little. Nope, the Stacie and Clint duo invade the victim’s closet and have a bonfire-burning-like party with their clothes! I’d be upset if somebody did that to me. One time I moved, and put some clothes in a trash bag. Well guess what? That bag accidentally went out with the trash. I still haven’t gotten over it.

But for the most part the hosts know what they’re doing. Stacie (London) is a jean expert. It’s fun to watch and see how ‘off’ people are in choosing the right jeans for them. I mean girls try to squeeze themselves in these tight tight jeans and are left with jelly roll muffin top.  Did you see my article on the jean swap? Excuse me, but NO food or top should be in your jeans!

Oh and have you noticed that teen girls now are into their designer clothing at such a young age? I think it’s a shame they’re spoiled so young. What are they gonna look forward to when they’re an adult? I guess more of the same. There should be a rite of passage to move from mall clothes to designer clothes. Like when women turn 30 (40 for men)…
Shows like MTV’s “The Hills” don’t help this cause… where young twenty somethings like Heidi Montag only wears the latest designer clothing. Remember she’s not the one in couture fashion work like her ex-best friend Lauren Conrad. They’d make good “actresses” in ‘Confessions of a Shopaholic’ sequel.

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That’s funny stuff but let’s get back to the real world…ha ha. Today it’s ALL about the 90’s styles. Let’s see, since it wasn’t thaaat long ago it should be easy to recall, right?

…okay, there was Beverly Hills 90210 and Melrose Place that came on TV in the early 90s when Fox TV came around (Pre-Party of Five…remember that one?) I remember taping shows on VHS videos when I was attending college classes or related events . 90210 was like a post-Saved by the Bell soap opera. That’s probably why they hired Tiffani Amber Thiessien to be on both shows (remember her from Tiger Beat or was it Teen magazine or both?)….

Anyway! For some reason, I remember the vest look that came back in. I remember Brenda Walsh (Shannon Doherty’s character) wearing that hobo look with the baggy pants in the beginning when they first moved from the farm or wherever mid-America they came from. Oh, and all those funky hats and plaids and overalls. It was so grungy! Did I get the right show? …Then she got glamified (is that a word?) and lost in the chic Beverly Hills lifestyle. Oh….and the sideburns! Remember Brandon and Dylan who showed theirs off? Steve (played by Ian Ziering) tried to grow some but you couldn’t see it against his blond Albino self. By the way, I’m not trying to impress you but I did recall these character and actual actor’s names without Googling them. Told you it wasn’t that long ago.

I remember actually shopping in the early 90’s on Melrose Ave in L.A. The styles were so hip. I bought my first Betsy Johnson light blue butterfly print dress there that I wore to several weddings including a California one in Northridge (a ‘burb of L.A.). That’s where I got culture shocked that people actually work Black to weddings…oh, and Black Doc Martens! That’ll never be chic in my mind. Hey, but whatever flips your boat… what???

Oh, and then came HBO’s “Sex in the City”. I was well into my adulthood by then. I was probably around 25 when that hit series aired. That took fashion to a whole ‘nother level but it took a few episodes. We weren’t looking at mall shopping like with Beverly Hills 90210. We were looking at designer clothes shopping. And Louis Vuitton and Gucci bags. And a lot of shoe shopping!

Okay here’s where I gotta make note to self. I don’t get the whole Manolo Blahnik’s and Jimmy Choo’s. I mean they’re beautiful shoes. And yes, it’s a fashion statement and ‘Sex in the City’s’ Vogue writer, Carrie Bradshaw bragged about them and made them famous…but really how many times can you wear a $400 pair of shoe and have it looking new or the way you’d want it to if you were showing off a $400 pair of shoe? So if you wear the shoe 4x then that’s $100 per wear. What if you only wear it once or twice…well, uh, you do the math! Plus what if they get stolen when you go to a Bridal Shower at a home where you have to take your shoes off, and one of the other guests take the wrong shoes (e.g. your Manolo’s) by accident…I didn’t make this up…I mean afterall it DID happen to Carrie in an episode!

Btw here’s a photo of me below (and a VERY pregnant friend!) in front of Carrie’s brownstone apartment building… 

Carrie Bradshaw's NYC Apartment (from HBO's 'Sex in the City' show)

Okay let’s put this in perspective for us Raleigh-ans. There’s no outdoor walking in Raleigh you can really show off your shoes without putting a hurtin’ on your feet. I mean most of us aren’t carried around in rickshaws all day! And Glenwood South is not exactly buzzin’ New York City.

They should have stylin’ shoes for the big cities where everyone walks around and chic shoes for the ‘burbs where everyone drives around. What I could see walkin’ around in, in Raleigh is a high fashion great wedge shoe for the summer and a long leather boot for the winter. I think you can wear those two styles, very practically. I like the metallic ballet flat with jeans but I wonder how long that style will last?

Alright movin’ on about clooothes in general…

I went through my Ann Taylor phase just after college. You know when you kinda wanna look the part of a professional out in the ‘real world’. You can’t really go wrong with their styles as they’re very mainstream. Almost too mainstream. Lacking in style expression as you’ll look like everyone else in the Corporate world. But, that’ll make your boss happy that there’s another ‘matchy matchy’ clone in the office with whatever the in style season color or print top is and a neutral slack or skirt.  Been there done that and still do once in a blue moon when I’m tryin’ to look a ‘lil professional.

But what about the hip online companies like Amazon.com and Zappos.com?…they’re the opposite of corporate America Ann Taylor. They embrace free expression. If you wonder what I mean, take a visit to Seattle and you’ll think you’ve stepped on soil in another country (or planet). Alrighty…I think that’s enough for today. …gee, I wonder what free expression I’ll have tomorrow.

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But, while I didn’t grow up in Raleigh, I did grow up at the malls. So I share that in common with a lot of you.  I sure did shop a lot. Gosh, I can’t believe it all started with the 80’s…what happy, fun times!  By the way, that’s me in the photo just a few years ago.

When I was a teen in the ‘burbs (of DC) in the 80’s, there were a handful of places to shop. But the BIG BRAND names were ESPRIT, Benetton, Guess and the Limited. Oh and you wouldn’t be caught without a brand name. That would be so un-cool!

Stylish clothing in the 80’s were so colorful. The mall stores were bright and they had models dressed up in layered looks that was such a hit. Remember the Madonna looks, legwarmers, stirrup pants, paisley, neon bracelets, Risky Business sunglasses, Jams, untucked button down shirts with the collars up, rolled up sleeves??? I also wore a lot of mini skirts. Here’s a trip down memory lane photo. Me and a couple girls at the beach in the late 80’s.

Late 80's photo!

I didn’t look too dated, did I?…well, okay maybe the big plastic pink hoop earrings were an 80’s dead giveaway but you can’t really see them!  Most my photos back then were blurry for some reason.   This is one of the few photos where there’s not just one eye or our heads chopped off in photos.  I know how hard those disposable  idiot boxes can be to operate  And, this was post-BIG Hair that we all had. If you wanna re-live those days, go rent the movie “Rockstar”. Remember Guns n Roses, “Sweet Child O’ Mine”. Love that riff. I was Sweet 16. Okay just gave away my age. Gosh so many great 80’s songs!

But anyway, mind outta the gutter…getting back to fashion. If you think about it, styles haven’t really changed all that much. And they do come back in cycles.

Remember the big Jackie O’ type sunglasses that were popular?… well they ARE still big and have been for years. And the jean skirt that never really went out of style when paired with the right top. And hoop earrings as fallback fashion accessory.

But these good ‘ol standbys are exceptions.  For most fashion pieces, they go in and out like yesterday’s news. But, when you buy a piece of clothing, it may be ‘in’ then, out next year, but back ‘in’ years down the road. The question is, do you wanna hang onto it for that long?

I think it depends. If you never really cared for it, then why have it taking up closet or storage space? But if it’s an item that you loved when you bought it and wore all the time for the first year, then maybe you’ll like it and wanna wear it again decades later. I mean I still have a Banana Republic purse that I bought when I was 16 and wore on one shoulder and across my chest. Remember that style! Then moms back then starting doing it and it became uncool…sorry!

But I must say I was always stylin’ with my getups! And I had this cropped black and white checkered snowflake sweater that I just loved that I bought at the hip mall store Contempo Casual. I finally donated that sweater, but I could see myself wearing it today. Back in the day, Contempo Casual was the cool store for teens kinda like what Bebe is today.

And remember the 80’s preppy looks like argyle sweaters and polos. Definitely not ME either. I like the more modern contemporary stuff that’s form fitting but not tight! I like having some style. It’s a part of who I am.

Just fyi, Banana Republic and the Gap had just come into the scene. Boy, I feel lucky in many ways that I grew up with the fashion and stores of today. I really couldn’t imagine growing up any other time although my generation has been called “The Lost Generation”. We weren’t lost, we were just trying to find what best fits us.

One thing that hasn’t changed that I’ve noticed in my closet is PINK! It’s timeless. I can always find a reason to wear pink. Pink is what black is to most people’s closet. I’ve got a lot of it! My favorite is a pink cardigan that I can wear with almost anything.  What’s your favorite color and piece of clothing?

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